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Losing the ROMANCE

 

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady

nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad

shoulders.

 

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would

have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. I have grown restless

lately.

 

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to

relationships and my feelings.  I yearn for the romantic moments, like

a little girl yearning for candy.

 

My husband, is my complete opposite.  His lack of sensitivity, and the

inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has

disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him I

wanted a divorce.

 

"Why?" he asked, shocked.

"I'm tired.  There doesn't have to be a reason for everything in the

world!" I answered.

>

> He kept silent.

> .

> My feeling of disappointment only increased.  Here was a man who can't

> even express his thoughts, what else can I hope for and expect from

> him?

>

> Finally he asked me, " What can I do to change your mind?"

> Somebody was right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I

> guess, I started to lose faith.

>

> Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered, "Here is a question.  If

> you can answer and convince my heart, I might change my mind.  Let's

> say, I want a flower that can be found on the face of a mountain

> cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your

> death, will you still get it for me?"

>  

> He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...."

> My hopes sank listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to

> find him gone.  I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting,

> underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door:

>

> "My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to

> explain the reasons..."

>

> This first line was already breaking my heart.

>

> "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs,

> and you cry in front of the screen.  I have to save my fingers so that

> I can fix the problem.

>  

> You always leave the house keys behind.  I have to save my legs to

> rushhome to open the door for you.

>  

> You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city.  I have to

> save my eyes to show you the way.

>  

> You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches

> every month.  I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in

> your tummy.

>  

> You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be bored.  I have

> to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

>  

> You always stare at the computer, and that will do no good for

> youreyes.  I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help

> to clip your nails, and help remove those annoying white hairs. So I

> can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy

> the beautiful sunshine and the fine sand.  I can tell you the color of

> flowers, and witness the glow of your face...

>

> Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you

> more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

>

> My tears fell on the letter,  and I continued reading...

>

> "Now, that you have my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the

> front door.  I am standing outside with your favorite bread and fresh

> milk..."

>

> I rushed to open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly

> inhis hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

>  

> Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does,

> and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

>  

> That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of

> excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies

> in between the peace and dullness.

 

> Love shows up in all forms, even in the most dull and boring form.. .

> flowers, and romantic moments are only superficial.  Love, not words

> win arguments.

 

 

hayyy naku.. dhil sa sobrang na bore ako d2 sa bagong nilipitan naming chaka building ehh nghanap nlang ako ng sumting dat wud mke me busy wyl wa8ng to log out...

Kya naicpan kung mag edit ng mga pa cute kung pictures...

hmm...

e2 at pagtiyagaan niu na... newbie pa ksi ako..jejeje

 

eto medjo dugyuting emo picture lang..parang kunwari-kunwariang d alam na pinipicturan lang ba..hahha

prang nagpapa-cute lang ako dito neng..prang kunwari model lang ng SWATCH..chos!!

at eto..PANALO! ang pa efek kung kunwari ehh beauty queen daw.. prang nagmukha lang akong showgirl dito..jusko pow!!

hahahaa...

 

well.. anyway guys pagpasensyahan niu muna yan at im still learning with my new interest...hmm..

nakakbore nmn tlaga ksi dito sa chaka building.kng baket pa ksi inilipat dito..fil na fil ko ang pagka outcast ng account namen.. prang mga LOSERS Category baga..

o di kya ung nsa main building ehh cla ung mga tga LA Salle, at kmi na nsa chaka building ehh tga St. Benilde,,ay anu ba..ano namn 2ng mga pinagsasabi ko..hahaysss... cge..

till next guys....

mwahh

PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
by Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn’t want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn’t fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering days and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other’s presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other’s foibles.

It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the others habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed.

It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other’s laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept up into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality. This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.

One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each others company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again.

If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can’t accept, you will inevitably come to grief.

Look at the way he/she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance does not become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

 

 

     a                    perfect couple

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word.

There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed.

We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.

But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presences, two separate consciousness come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom…endlessly.

 

amfutah ka!!

 

 

 

 Kupal ka tlaga..

may pa magic2 ka pang nlalaman jan...

putangina moh!!

alas 3 ng hapon nang magising ako sa txt nia..e2 sabi..

kupal: pagod na ko sa relasyon natin..wla na kung nararamdaman sau..wla na kung nararamdamang magic.

reply 2 kupal: amfutah mo nmn!anung magic ang pnagsasabi moh..ano tau?bea-john lloyd at kelangan pa ng magic!hoi magising ka sa katotohanan wla tau sa pelikula!ung totoo dpat mung harapin.Kya tau ngkakaganito dhil iresponsable ka at hangang ngaun 1 taon na wla ka pa ring trabaho!

wat d u xpek?masisiyahan pa rin ako.na ako and2 d kau kasama ksi kelangan kung mgtrabaho at ikaw jan gabi-gabi kang umiinom at sumama sa brkada moh..

kupal ka tlaga!!asshole!

leche xa..anung magic-magic ang pnagsasabi nia...oi!kng gusto mo ng magic..e2ng magic wand para sau..pra magmukha kang wizard!!hayup kah!